The Life and Glory of Nelson Puggs!!!!!

Nelson wanted to take some time to celebrate a huge win before worrying about his kidnapped friends. His date was a waitress from IHOP and she was in the mood for ordering pizza and watching a movie in Nelson’s hotel. She said “Nelson baby I wanna watch a movie. Nelson I wanna eat pizza. Nelson are listening to me?” As he was driving, her whining and complaining gave Nelson a huge idea. “Yo homes say that again… You wanna do what?” His date was confused… “I wanna eat pizza Nelson!” He interrupted “Nah nah before that essay. What did you say before that?” She answered “I wanna watch a movie” Of course! Nelson spun around his Lamborghini and drove faster than he ever drove “Where are we going Nelson baby?” He answered quickly “we going to get your movie dawg and to get my boyz Honky Tonk Man and Uncle Irvin homes!”
They pulled into Blockbuster Video and walked into the store. It seems strangely empty. The IHOP waitress said “oooo Nelson let’s get the Breakfast Club! Don’t you just love Molly Ringwald?” Nelson stopped “What did you say homes?” He looked up at the monitor and the store was showing Chevy Chase’s Vacation. Then he heard some caughing in the back. Nelson walked in to the back of the store and suddenly he saw Uncle Irvin and The Honky Tonk Man tied to each other while Ralph the barber was giving Luke Perry a haircut. Nelson said “Freeze dawg! Luke Perry? What are you doing here homes?” Luke said “I’ve been coming to Ralph for years to cut my sideburns dawg” Suddenly Ralph ran away and nelson untied his friends and saved them. Just then he heard some wimpering behind the cashier. “Yo what’s that dawg?” A young teenager who works at Blockbuster was so scared that he was crying. Nelson said “Yo homes. Don’t cry. It will be all over now maaan” He signed an autograph for the wimpy kid who works at Blockbuster and hugged him. Nelson’s friends were saved and he’s famous again!!

The 3 friends flew Nelson’s jet to the stadium for the final series game. Nelson was honored before the game for his heroics. There was a 17 minute standing ovation for Nelson with his new haircut. Then a moment of silence for Luke Perry (who got hit accidentally by Nelson’s Lamborguini).

The Royals lost the game 9-3 and Mark Texiera said after the game that Nelson Puggs was the toughest competitor he had ever faced. The Royals season was over and Nelson felt like a beaten young man. The Honky Tonk Man said “Say man look on the bright side. You get to be a referee in a WWE match soon with Tito Santana. That ain’t half bad”

What was Nelson going to do in the offseason? What a year for Puggs. “Yo Honky. I will win the World Series next year or die. Mark my words homey”


Stay Tuned………….

Please give feedback to this past season and thoughts on the offseason. What a magical season...All thanks to you the fans! -Puggs#69

October 19:

Nelson was back to his hometown and life was simple and old time. He was enjoying the offseason by laying low and routinely walking to Wendy’s every day at 12:20pm with his sports section and an order for his double Baconator meal. Ahhh life was normal again, Wei-Peng the 53 year old lady still works at Wendy’s and still knows Nelson’s order everytime. In this town Nelson isn’t swarmed by fans, he is just a guy.

While he was sitting at Wendy’s his phone rang “Who Dis?” then surprisingly the voice went “Arriba essay. This is Tito Santana, former Intercontinental Champion. We need to discuss this match we are reffing. Just to be clear, I will be the star. You don’t know wrestling homes so you stand back and follow my lead”. Nelson stood up at Wendy’s and flipped over the table at Wendy’s so upset “Yo Homes you listen to me! Do you know who I am? Nelson Puggs is always the star and no one will show me up dawg. I will pummel you to ablivian. You nuthin homes. You hear me? Nuthin!! I’m calling Vince right now dawg and telling on you”

Nelson hung up the phone and Wei-Peng told him “Umm excuse me Mr Nelson? The manager ask you to leave. I hate him. I go with you. Please” Nelson allowed Wei-Peng to tag along and the two of them wandered through the town without a plan. Just then Wei-Peng, the Wendy’s cashier saw that Nelson was so upset at Tito Santana and she took his hand. They walked down the street holding hands and this felt nice. Nelson felt something in his heart that he never felt before. “Wei-Peng homes. You don’t need that wendy’s job man. I will support you. I am feeling some strong feelings for you dawg.” Wei-Peng was waiting to hear this for 6 years. “Oh Mr Nelson! We be together!” “nelson nodded “Yeah dawg. I think we can work this out. Puggsy in love homes”
Nelson had never felt something more important than baseball until now. He called Vince McMahon to tell on Tito Santana and Vince said “NELSON!!!! How dare you. Let me talk to The Honky Tonk Man!” Then Nelson said something that made Vince more angry than ever before “Yo Vince I was at a club with him last night and he did a pill and fell asleep. He still sleeping dawg.” Vince told Nelson that he better patch things up with Tito Santana otherwise he’ll force Nelson to wrestle Triple-H. This concerned Nelson. Wei-Peng grabbed nelson’s phone and threw it in a nearby pool and said “No more phone Mr Nelson. Please. Only me and you. Me and you.”
Nelson smiled and said “Oh Wei-Peng, Puggsy loves you dawg” Perhaps Nelson has finally found his true love.

Just then Wei-Peng’s phone rang “Mr Nelson, it is for you!” Nelson grabbed her phone “Who dis” then a mystery voice said “Nelson, I will speak quietly. Now that you are going to marry We-Peng, you should know she has dark dark dark secrets Nelson. Dark ones! It’s about (gulp) baseball. This is former Toronto Blue Jay Nelson Lirano and I used to be with her. She hates baseball and put a curse on me. You’ve been warned. Peace”

To Be continued……………..

sbunce5 posted...

A 53 year old Asian?! Really?! Lol.

Yeah homes. She's known me for years and knows my Wendy's order by heart! Don't they say the way to a dawg's heart is through his stomach?

Nelson_Lariano posted...

sbunce5 posted...

A 53 year old Asian?! Really?! Lol.

Yeah homes. She's known me for years and knows my Wendy's order by heart! Don't they say the way to a dawg's heart is through his stomach?

And how did you know she's Asian? Wow that's whack. Psychic stuff there essay

fraser212 posted...

This is dumb. Everyone hates this story. You never even followed up with the Carmen Electra part. Idiot

You mess with the wrong dawg. I'm willing to let you friend me again homes. I have an army of fans on here that will take you down to China Town essay. You haev until 3pm EST broski.
PS if you are for real homes then send me a PM and Facebook friend me. I'm now allowing my Nelson-addicts to friend me on Facebook diggity-dawg

Some of you have me on Facebook and if you wanna friend me, add me homes!! http://www.facebook.com/?sk=welcome#!/nelson.biggs1

The Nelson-Addics have waiting long emough Homes!

SEASON PREMIERE:

November 9:

Nelson has been sleeping for three weeks after being drugged at a bar again. Wei-Peng, The love of his life and former cashier at Wendy’s was very upset and nervous about Nelson’s upcoming event for the WWE. Rumors were floating around all over Perez Hilton’s site and CNN that Nelson was dead. The truth was he was napping for 4 weeks, curtains closed and “getting to know” his lover Wei-Peng, who was older and wiser @ 53 years old. Nelson couldn’t help think about that phone call he received from former MLB journeyman Nelson Liriano about Wei-Peng. Liriano dated Wei-Peng in the 80’s and she ended his career with a curse.
As Nelson rolled out of bed for the first time in 3 weeks, he stretched and kissed Wei-Peng good morning, his phone rang. “Yo Nelson is awake who dis?” Then suddenly “Hello Nelson, after all we’ve been through, you may find this very difficult to believe, but this is commissioner Bud Selig. We are concerned about your involvement with the WWE essay. The MLB needs you. You are the biggest star since Oil Can Boyd and tv ratings are at an all-time high homes. Do NOT wrestle Puggs!”
Nelson growled and picked up a chair, hurling it at the Hilton suite window shattering it “Selig I tell you what dawg. Nobody, NOBODY tells me what to do. I hate you Selig and you tryin to ruin my dreams and waste my flava fool! I hate you!” He hung up the phone but thinks Selig is quite upset.
Just then the hotel door knocked, there were 31 girls in WWE bikinis ready to escort Nelson to Madison Square Garden. They started screaming and going wild when he answered the door wearing nothing but a slightly ripped M*A*S*H t-shirt. “let’s go ladies” he said and they were off to MSG.
When they arrived for WWE rehearsal, there were 6738 fans waiting for Puggs for autographs. Tito Santana and Ted DiBiase greeted Puggs and brought him inside. Just then Vince McMahon entered and told Puggs he would be mainly outside the ring for this match and that Tito would do most of the reffing. Puggs was so upset and said to himself “Yo dawg, one way or another I will be the star of this match. NO one tells Puggsy what to do! NO ONE!”
The match is in two days………….

As Nelson was walking by himself through a dark hallway of Madison Square Gardens, he heard noises behind him and was scared. Just then something fell in front of his path. He stopped and saw a single cold Wendy’s fry on the floor “Yo Homes where’s that come from?” he continued to walk through the dark halls of MSG and again heard more strange noises. He heard a manly terrified scream from 10 feet away. What was happening? Was this the WWE and their tricks? He walked toward the screaming and opened the dark dressing room door and Nelson gasped, couldn’t believe what he saw…. It was Bret Hitman Hart on the floor, dizzy and appeared to have ketchup and mayo and salt all over him…..and appeared to be burned on the neck “Yo Bret Hart? What’s wrong dawg?” Hitman answered “I was sitting here getting dressed and I must’ve blacked out. Next thing I know I woke up and my neck was burnt from scorching hot bacon and patties! Someone or something attacked me and treated me like a piece of meat homes!”

Something wasn’t right. Nelson ran away from Bret and wanted to get home to Wei-Peng’s arms. Her phone wasn’t ringing and he was scared. Was Bud Selig behind this? Billy Butler? Something was fishy…………………