Revelations 2012 Review
Revelations 2012 is garbage, and you shouldn't play it.
- A competitive mode with real potential.
- Abysmal, random combat scenarios with no sense of actual design
- Rotten friendly AI with suicidal tendencies
- Shooting lacks impact
- Weird enemy behavior that defies the laws of physics
- Horrible implementation of booby traps.
The end of the world has arrived, and things are looking grim.
Ancient Mayans swarm sacred temples, running up and down walls as if the laws of gravity have been repealed. Boulders pop into existence and fall to the ground, squishing you underneath. Your friends fall down shafts to their deaths, as they have somehow become incapable of using ladders. These and other horrors await you in Revelations 2012, an incompetent co-op shooter that tries to ape Left 4 Dead but gets almost nothing right. If this ridiculous game actually represents the near future, we might as well just give up now.
The incompetence begins with the cooperative campaigns. You join up to three others to fight your way through hordes of natives in loincloths and witches zapping you with magical green plasma. In the likely event you don't find anyone to play with, AI cronies fill in. But these computer-controlled morons have apparently lost their brains in the Mayan apocalypse and are incapable of behaving in any sensible manner. They can't pick up the healing or ammo items enemies drop on the ground. They can't use secondary fire, are unaware of deadly booby traps, and sometimes stand around doing nothing. Even on easy difficulty, you might be unable to get past the second of five campaigns: the AI easily gives up the ghost, and you end up fighting a miniboss that renders you unable to move and shoot with every ground pound.
You might be lucky enough to have friends who have a billion more brain cells than these cretins, but they won't remain friends for long if you force them to wade through this mess. Everyone gets the same mystic weapon that can morph into different forms: magical sniper rifle, magical peashooter, and magical shotgun. But regardless of what form you use, there's no sense of power. The audio is atrocious: water pistols sound more powerful than your weapon's mild peeps and clicks. When you kill foes, their skin melts away and their skeletons dissipate, which is a neat little effect. Another nice touch: sometimes your enemies lose limbs and pull their legless torsos along. But there are no animations to indicate impact; you just fire piddly lasers or swipe at your attackers until they fall down dead.
You encounter dozens and dozens of ancient dudes as you roam about slapdash environments that have no sense of design or pacing. You run around looking for levers to activate, grab some skulls, encounter a final boss, and everything is done. And every moment is laughably bad. The tribal hordes behave in the oddest ways. They climb up poles and columns for no apparent reason, defying physics as we understand them. They jump on top of swinging traps and get deposited on an AI companion's head. They even fall from above and get stuck midair, their legs treading ceaselessly as if in contact with the ground.
The "gotcha" traps are insane. A boulder rolls down a hill from behind, or a spiked log suddenly swings toward you, but there is no audiovisual cue indicating such an occurrence is possible. A dense field makes it impossible to see what you're shooting at. In one area, you navigate a trap of spears that move to and fro, but the spears aren't spaced or timed properly, and are not collision-enabled; it's impossible to get through undamaged. You deal with a set of rising and falling columns immediately afterward, where another legion attacks you in a dramatically tiny space. It's all so depressingly horrible.
All the while, your companions spout occasional quips, Left 4 Dead style, but have no discernible personalities aside from "obnoxious twerp," and have nothing interesting to say. (Endless profanity doesn't make for fascinating characters.) There isn't even anything interesting to look at in all this mess. You move from boring tan corridors to jungle clearings with low-polygon bushes. Light sources are static, textures are low resolution, and shadows are often nonexistent. There's no sense of art direction. Trees, statues, and sad brown flowers look randomly placed, as if someone just threw these objects into the level without any consideration of an overall aesthetic.
Revelations 2012 doesn't skimp on content, with five campaigns of multiple levels each, and several competitive modes, though your chances of finding a competitive match are even lower than finding a cooperative one. One of these modes could have been great: Battlegrounds. Conceptually, it's a mix of first-person shooter, real-time strategy, and online battle arena. Players on each of two teams must take down defensive towers as they push toward the opposing team's base and face a final boss. But they also command respawning minions, ordering them to battle opposing forces and defend key areas.
It's a cool idea utterly destroyed by execution problems. Minions get stuck trying to cross bridges and won't move. On one map, you use glowing portals to teleport into your enemy's base, but huge minion collisions can turn the battle into a horrible joke. But hey--if you get bored during the resulting stalemates on this map, you can also hit a key and watch your character dance a dumb jig from a third-person perspective. Heck, you can even shoot stuff while you do it, all while your own avatar performs animations that have nothing to do with shooting.
Perhaps Revelations 2012 is a sign of the times. If so, pray hard to the deity of your choice, because the end is nigh. Whatever you do, don't waste your precious last moments playing this horrendous shooter.
Ok so I once new the person who created this company and game. I knew long ago he was gonna be a success. I thought it was a good game but everyone is entitled to an opinion. however its not right to say rude things about someone that actually made something with himself. Also sometimes we all need help from out families to get started. Who better to employ then your family
Do I count myself a masochist if this is probably the thousandth time I'm reading this review and also watching the review?
i respect the reviewer for their honest score. Keep up the good work guys! that's the reason why we all here. -to know which game we should buy
Half the people who were listed there last Friday are gone. I feel kinda bad for them, I even removed my sarcastic review. This is why you should never say "Anyone could make a better game than that!" This is what happens when "anyone" tries.
@weedman1985 I'm surprised that review is still up. They caught so much flack for that.
Pretty sure valid gaming either got paid to do the review or felt so bad about going up there and seeing how bad a game it was, so they cut Dark Artz some slack.
I hope Dark Artz can pull out of this and learn from all their mistakes. hah
From what I'm hearing, this game will go down in infamy for all the wrong reasons.
Just goes to show that you just can't bypass the entire QA process, which is obviously what happened here.
I watched 50 seconds of the gameplay video and called it quits, I don't even have to play the game to know it's terrible.
lol love the players that gave it 10
thats even more horrible than giving it a 1
I know they are being funny :P
Wait, wait, wait, WAIT a minute here. Several people have posted their link: http://www.darkartzentertainment.com/about/, then people have vehemently defended them. I get all that, and don't knock any of the people, as they've done more than I ever could creating a game (even this load of fail). HOWEVER, did --ANYONE-- get this? WHY would this guy be head of the art design?! "Kenny Dyal/Lead Creative Artist - Kenny is a self-proclaimed non-gamer, but enjoys the occasional sports video game." Just what I want for my video game company and in charge of all the art, someone who's a non-gamer, and his resume includes Madden and NHL '08, casual at that. Sweet mercy. I think it's time for some talent search.
It's a good thing that those 10/10 user reviews claiming the game is a masterpiece certainly aren't getting old or stale...
Oh wait, yeah they are.
Their website is pretty hilarious. http://www.darkartzentertainment.com/about/ The last guy cracks me up every time. YOU GO, DAN!
THIS IS SO.............................. NOT COOL ITS LIKE DUKE NUKEM THATS HAVE BEEN MADE EVEN BADDER WELL DUKE NUKEM IS GOOD COMPARED TO THIS!!!!!!!!!!
Imagine what kind of game would come out if the developers of Revelations 2012, Big Rigs, and Street Cleaning Simulator teamed up.
Check out the user reviews in the name of god
@ironfoxgamer AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! oh God this is hilarious!! amazing how it changed the lives of so many gamers!! XD
OMG, check out all the User Reviews and laugh....http://asia.gamespot.com/revelations-2012/user-reviews/793319/
????Clicked play on the video and scrolled down to continue reading.
1:04-1:30What the hell am I listening to?
Do you want to laugh? Check their website!
@dalua360 What is so funny? That people who lost their jobs got off their collective butts and tried something outside the box?
@Kabals How, in any way, is this outside the box? It's completely UNoriginal. It's not innovative, which is what you are trying to defend them with.
Don't be ignorant. This is unoriginal and unimaginative. I do feel bad for the people who worked on this, but they need a different art direction and art director.
@arvuti12 Why are the people off limits? Just because someone works really hard on a pile of crap doesn't mean someone shouldn't call to their attention that it's a pile of crap. And that they look goofy on their website. Nothing wrong with goofy. But they do look goofy.
@Succumbus Frankly to be honest, if you are going to make fun of a game then sure do that but don't make fun of the people. The game is awful, but the people did work hard on it. It's just an example of people who have no experience trying to do an ambitious project and failing pretty miserably.
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@Succumbus Please post your picture and then your occupation and we'll make the same ridiculous statements about you. Cool?
I feel terrible for the person that was asked to play and then review this game. Kevin, my heart goes out to you and your team. WOMP!
This game WISHES it'll be thrown in the gutter where the Street Cleaning Simulator will sweep it up.
Revelations 2012, there is a landfill in New Mexico with your name on it.
P.S. Damn it, how do I bury a download!...
In the hall of the abysmal first person shooters, Land of the Dead stays on first while Legendary goes on second and this Revelations are following with the third place. Could be great, but they are not. Decadency is the word. If you are small, there is no way to create a good fps, like the old times.
@Rayrota lol! Same thing happened to me. I was like "Oohh hey, this game has a 1.5, let's read the review and see just how bad it is".