• 11Jan 11

  Burrito status update

  So it's been 4+ months since the last burrito incident, and today I came home with my first "bomb" (that would be aptly noted as "the bomb" bomb burrito, an arm sized portion of americanized mexi-cal cuisine I picked up from the gas station). I was a bit tipsy, so any concerns that this epic sized burrito would explode in my face was tempered by feel good feelings of girls and booze.

  I put in the microwave an unprecedented 2 minutes, and then a further unprecedented 1 minute flipped over, and I am happy to say it did not completely lay waste to my microwave in an Openheimer sized disaster of an explosion.

  I now have a burrito the size of a small child in my stomach, and I feel gooooooood.

  • Posted Jan 11, 2011 1:38 am GMT
  • Category: Food
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• 21Aug 10

  Someone set us up the Burrito Bomb

  So I got home after bar close, and it was a particularly lame night, so on the way home I got myself a burrito, a tiny innocent little thing, completely unsuspecting that it would be the cherry on top of my crap sunday of an evening, the coupe de grace of a symphony of disappointment.

  I look at the instructions and it says "KEEP WRAPPED, put in microwave for 35-45 seconds." Now, my microwave is pretty weak, and I have a 1 minute button so I figured no big deal, right? Well, while I am pouring myself a drink, I hear an odd whistling sound, I turn around to see that it's coming from the burrito. Not even so much a whistle but a "eeeeeeeep." I shrug though, the minute is almost up, it's not as if anything INSANE will be happening in the next 10-15 seconds. I get closer to the microwave, as there is only 5 seconds left. 5-4- *gets closer* 3-2- *gets even closer*-1 *DING* AND BOOM! I swear to you this happened in the very final second of the minute, as if this thing was programmed to explode for any lazy fool who sticks it in for a singular minute instead of the allotted 35-45 seconds. I had tiny burrito guts EVERYWHERE, this thing exploded in half and spilled itself all over like a drunken prom date without any inhibition.

  I think if there is a supreme being out there running things, that he is very much trying to screw with me.

  • Posted Aug 21, 2010 3:42 am GMT
  • Category: Food
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• 29Jul 10

  UPS can kiss my grits!!!

  Those are really my thoughts today as I find myself patiently waiting for my Starcraft II Collectors Edition to arrive. I even went to the midnight launch with a friend to pick his up, being remiss that I had to wait for mine.

  Now let me just preface by saying I was FINE waiting a few days, and I emphasize a few, as I got upgraded shipping. Now, I can excuse that it was delayed a day or two due to "adverse weather conditions" as the tracker said. But today I was told "out for delivery" dated at around 7AM. I made no plans, I waited some before work, waited around in the evening after work hoping they would just come a bit later on. So around 9PM I get an update on the tracker saying something along the lines of "Package missed at UPS facility, will deliver tomorrow."

  Feeling rather perrturbed and a little annoyed at this turn of events, I call up, and get a very stoic lady named Ashley. While she wasn't rude, I am not sure she really understands the idea of customer service. I am rarely a difficult person, but I was annoyed that I technically paid UPS extra money to ship something in a timely manner and then not only does it get delayed due to weather (which is of course excusable), but then is simply "forgotten" at the facility. They literally forgot to put it on the truck, and all this Ashley has to say is literally nothing. There was a 10 second pause and a "yep, well, it will be delivered tomorrow hopefully." I point out that's a bit disconcerting that after on delay, a package (that is at least important to me) is delayed again due to one of the dumbest human errors I have witnessed...."sorry, we just forgot". She made a rather limp wristed apology, but mostly just remained silent, as I was hoping some further concession was made.

  Now, perhaps I was expecting too much, however this is not the first time UPS did not provide me the service I paid them for, and I kind of feel like they have a real "tough nuts" approach to it when they fail. Why even bother having customer service if they are going to be rude about it when you point out that they screwed up? I guess they presume it's because you have no choice, or maybe they just don't care, but when someone is pissed that you simply forgot to delivery their already delayed package, you should do a little more than dead silence followed by an "um, well, sorry I guess."

  Now, I have to cross my fingers that the package doesn't have damage dents and holes in it (which a package with extra transit and sitting time is more likely to have due to being dumped in any given corner while it waits extra time).

  In closing, I am giving a stern message of disapproval to UPS. If I ever have the choice, I will use any other service I can since you don't seem to care about having my business. Brown clearly cannot cut it.

  /end rant

  • Posted Jul 29, 2010 7:49 pm GMT
  • Category: Rant
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