Q. Have you heard about the new super-sensitive condoms?
A. They hang around after the man leaves and talks to the woman.
Q. How do you make you boyfriend scream durin sex?
A. Call him and tell him!
Q. A man noticed that his credit card had been stolen but didn't report it.
A. The thief was spending less then his wife.
Q. How do men sort out their laundry?
A. Dirty, and dirty but wearable.
Q. Why is a pap smear called a pap smear?
A. Would you girls go have them if they were called ***** scrapes?
Q. What do you call kids born in whorehouses?
A. Brothel sprouts.
Q. How do you know when your cat's done cleaning himself?
A. He's smoking a cigarette.
Q. How do you know when you are getting old?
A. When you start having dry dreams and wet farts.
Q. Did you hear about the flasher who was thinking of retiring?
A. He decided to stick it out for one more year!
Q. How do you get a nun pregnant?
A. Dress her up as an alter boy.
Q. What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog?
A. After a year, the dog is still excited to see you.
Q. What do a **** an anniversary, and a toilet have in common?
A. Men always miss them.
Q. Why is sleeping with a man like a soap opera?
A. Just when it's getting interesting, they're finished until next time.
Q. How do you find a blind man in a nudist colony?
A. It's not hard.
Q. Why does a bride smile when she's walking down the aisle?
A. She knows she's given her last blow job.
Q. What do you call an adolescent rabbit?
A. A pubic hare.
Q. Did you know they just discovered a new use for sheep in New Zealand?
Q. What did the girl say to her swimming instructor?
A. "Will I really drown if you take your finger out?"
description of photos for those who can't see them:
1. a short poem..
Last night I saw upon the star
a little man who wasn't there
He wasn't there again today
He must've been the CIA.
2. Next to a door is this sign..
38 days since the last time someone reset this sign!
3. over a drawing of a girl talking to a guy.
"When I got used to my regular nightmares my subconcious got creative"
"Please don't wake up, I don't want to die!"
4. this is a Barbie and Ken in the bathroom.
Barbie with nothing on sitting on 'the pot' with a newspaper while
Ken is standing in his boxer shorts brushing his teeth
a plastic cat in on the floor between them licking himself.
some of the barbie/ken creations on teh internetz are rather clever.
I like the one with the altar boy though I fear we don't really share the same kind of humor ... =`] --welcome back!
@VintAge68 I am writing for what I believe will please the majority here and I already deleted the worst of them. You wouldn't believe some of the stuff that was included in the original O_O
I do remember in my college days asking one other guy to "watch his language because there were girls in the class" but when he agreed he was smiling. I found out why later on that day when I heard some of the girls talking later on at lunch...it made me blush!
@iowastate Well, probably am I as usual just not part of the majority, but it hasn´t been meant as criticism: it is your blog, I simply have a bad memory for jokes (and not a memory for bad ones ;)
@VintAge68 I put a note next to a joke after I've used it in a blog - if I simply delete it I'll forget it and reuse it in a year or two because there are only a few even of the good ones that I remember for very long.